Hatch read this list and is still laughing. He wanted me to share it with you but I told him that it’s Babylon Bee level humor and might step on a few toes. He thinks people need a good laugh. So here it goes…
From a speech by Kim Landgraf a resident of St. Louis County who regularly attends and speaks at St. Louis County Council meetings. She describes herself as “conservative in nature, Christian through Grace,” and one who finds “liberal hypocrisy to be an unending source of inspiration.” This past Tuesday, she delivered the following remarks to the Council.
1. You believe driving an Electric Vehicle garbage truck filled with old Tesla batteries to the landfill is saving the environment.
2. You support PETA to save the puppies and Planned Parenthood to kill the babies.
3. You purchased disposable masks in bulk and donated to the Save The Oceans Fund.
4. You are too self-absorbed and lack the foresight to understand the future ramifications of surrendering your and your child’s medical autonomy to the government.
5. You filed a sexual harassment charge against your boss because he told you he likes your new haircut, but don’t mind if your child’s first grade teacher explains their sexual preferences to their class.
6. You still believe Disney isn’t grooming children.
7. You totally believe your degree in Gender Studies was worth it and you wish your parents would just shut up and stay out of the basement.
8. You have a hammer and sickle logo on the case of your new I-Phone
9. You believe freedom of speech only applies when it reflects your views.
10. You have a framed photo of Fauci on your nightstand.
11. You believe the MSM relays objective and truthful reporting.
12. You truly believe Bill Gates is a humanitarian.
13. You oddly refuse to comprehend that the majority of immigrants coming to the U.S. for a better way of life are fleeing the socialist systems you wish to be implemented.
14. You wait until your child is fifteen years old to hold a gender reveal party.
15. It’s your turn to do a Starbucks run for next month’s ANTIFA meeting.
16. You believe the government has your best interest at heart.
17. You’re an adult and you still need a “safe space.”
18. You struggle with the concept of God-given freedoms because you believe others are responsible for your health, happiness, and safety.
19. You believe in an open border policy, but live in a gated community.
20. During election cycles, a large portion of your time is spent driving around removing conservative candidate yard signs.
21. You continually refer to the U.S. as a Democracy when it is in fact a Constitutional Republic.
22. You advocate for an inclusive society as long as it doesn’t include those you wish to exclude.
23. Virtue signaling with your EV trumps the guilt you feel concerning the child and slave labor used to mine the lithium for its battery.
24. You drive a Prius with a COEXIST bumper sticker, but deep down you don’t mean it.
25. You see nothing wrong with a Ministry of Truth.
26. You want to erase student debt, but not for trade schools because well, those people can get jobs and pay it off themselves!
27. You’re more concerned with the Johnny Depp Trial and Elon Musk buying Twitter than the eighteen food processing plants which burned down over the last several months.
28. Your idea of a food supply shortage is Trader Joe’s running out of hummus.
29. You actually believe Brandon is running the show.